Gundam Wing Commercials
by Sanzo Lady
Summary: A bunch of GW commercial parodies. Rated PG for launguage. R/R All Complete!
1. Wufei's Chinese Buffet

Wufei's Chinese Buffet   
  
(opens with Wufei standing in front of a Chinese looking building next to the Altron Gundam)   
  
  
Wufei: Greetings My name is Wufei and I'm not hiding my restaurant anywhere. Come to Wufei's Chinese Buffet! The only restaurant endorsed by a Gundam pilot and a Gundam.   
  
  
Nataku: ......   
  
  
Wufei: That's right Nataku. We have affordable prices and great food that's not only good, but good for you!   
  
  
Nataku: .....   
  
  
Wufei: I agree, strong like you. Well come on down to and enjoy our great deals and great meals.   
  
  
(End of commercial)   
  
  
That's the first one. Send me good reviews and I'll post more. ^-^ I've got lots more. 


	2. Exterminators

Exterminators   
  
  
(Heero's voice is heard)   
  
  
Heero: Do you know her? Is she bothering you? Want her dead? Call 1 800 Kill Her And the Heero Yuy Exterminators will take care of your vermin infestation. We also take care of these annoying elements:   
  
  
(Names scroll by)   
  
Duo Maxwell   
  
Treize Kushrenada   
  
Duo Maxwell   
  
Dorothy Catalonia   
  
Duo Maxwell   
  
Zechs Merquise   
  
Duo Maxwell   
  
Just about anyone from Oz   
  
Duo Maxwell   
  
**No roaches, rats or raccoons**   
  
Duo Maxwells accepted   
  
  
Heero: Call now and when we come out to kill Relena, we'll also kill Duo Maxwell for free!   
  
  
(Commercial closes)   



	3. Hair Care

Hair Care   
  
  
(Dorothy sitting between Duo & Zechs on a park bench and Relena with frizzy hair runs up to them)   
  
  
Duo: Hey - Wait! What happened to you?   
  
Dorothy: Whatever happened to you Miss Relena?   
  
Zechs: (laughing) Ha ha ha!   
  
Relena: Milliardo! I need your help!   
  
Zechs: (Laughing harder) Ha ha ha!   
  
Relena: How can my hair be as soft and straight and shiny and pretty as yours?   
  
Duo: I use Sanq Kingdom Salon Shampoo!   
  
Dorothy: I use Sanq Kingdom Salon Shampoo!   
  
Zechs: (Falls off the bench laughing) Ha ha ha!   
  
Relena: Maybe I should use Sanq Kingdom Salon Shampoo!   
  
Duo: No.   
  
Relena: Why not?   
  
Dorothy: Who would we make fun of?   
  
Zechs: (still laughing) Ha ha ha!   
  
  
(Commercial fades out)   



	4. Maxwell Hair Institute

The Maxwell Hair Institute   
  
  
(Scene opens: Duo standing next to Hilde as she dries someone's hair)   
  
  
Duo: Hello! This is The Maxwell Hair Institute!   
  
Hilde: This is where everybody who is anybody goes to get their hair done.   
  
Duo: Whether it's a funky new hair style   
  
Hilde: Or just a trim to keep the classic style classy   
  
Duo: The cast of Gundam Wing comes here.   
  
Hilde: In fact, today alone we've had Zechs Merquise, Quatre Raberba Winner, Lady Une and Professor G in here.   
  
Duo: So call right away for your appointment   
  
Hilde: That's 1- 800 - Duo - Hair   
  
Duo: (smiles at the camera) Call now and receive a bottle of Sanq Kingdom Salon Shampoo, free.   
  
  
(Commercial ends)   



	5. Ricky Mar - Barton

Ricky Mar-- Barton CDs   
  
  
Announcer: Tired of those same old tunes? Then get ready for a quality musical mix as your favorite Latin Gundam pilot sings great award-winning hits.   
  
  
(Trowa singing)   
  
  
Upside inside out   
  
I'm not Ricky Martin   
  
I'm a circus clown   
  
My name is Trowa Barton   
  
I deceived you there   
  
You thought I was Ricky Martin   
  
Ha Ha Ha-Ha-Ha   
  
I'm not Ricky Martin   
  
  
I have to live a depressing life   
  
Full of sorrow and pain   
  
Tick me off, I'll get Heavyarms   
  
And put some bullets in your brain   
  
Oh yeah!   
  
  
Upside inside out   
  
I'm not Ricky Martin   
  
I'm a circus clown   
  
My name is Trowa Barton   
  
I deceived you there   
  
You thought I was Ricky Martin   
  
Ha Ha Ha-Ha-Ha   
  
I'm not Ricky Martin   
  
  
  
(Also displayed titles of other songs Trowa will sing)   
  
Cup of Life   
  
Shake Your Bon Bon   
  
Livin' la Vita Trowa   
  
And Many More   
  
  
  
Announcer: For just 18 payments of $10.99 This great CD is yours so call 1 800 TROWA CD   



	6. Gundam School

Gundam School   
  
  
Announcer: Do you want your child to go to a quaility school? Learn things they can use? Send them to the Gundam School. Just take a look about...   
  
(The background gives a tour of the school as the teachers speak for the camera)   
  
Trowa: I'm the athletics instructor   
  
Relena: I'm the girls' manners teacher   
  
Quatre: I'm the boys' manners teacher   
  
Duo: I'm the creative arts teacher, and this is my helper, Ms. Sphbiker.   
  
Hilde: Hello   
  
Treize: I'm the social and physical hygiene instructor   
  
Heero: I'm the mobile suit instructor   
  
Zechs: I'm the hand to hand combat instructor   
  
Noin: I'm nutritional specialist   
  
Lady Une: I'm the coordinator of math and science skills   
  
Dorothy: I oversee free play time   
  
Wufei: (Grumbling to himself) I over see nap time... I am so weak   
  
All: We are the Gundam School.   



	7. Wufei's Competition

Wufei's Competitor   
  
  
(Duo and Hilde, wearing odd German clothes, standing in front of a German looking building with the Deathscythe )   
  
(Polka music playing)   
  
  
Duo: Greetings, and welcome to Duo's Smorgasbord! We'll stuff you full of fine German and American cuisine! And all of it served by real, super-fine German waitresses like, Hilde here!   
  
Hilde: (waves) Hi! You can eat, enjoy, and get your picture taken with a Gundam!   
  
Duo: For just $3.95 you can get all you can eat! So come here! And not to Wufei's!   
  
  
(The polka music stops and Quatre with a tuba walks on screen)   
  
  
Quatre: Please Duo! My little lungs can't take anymore!   
  
  
(Commercial ends)   



	8. Duo's Competitor

Duo's Competion   
  
  
(Wufei standing on a park bench next to Nataku)   
  
  
Wufei: Hello. I used to have long beautiful hair, like one of my fellow Gundam pilots.   
  
(Holds up a picture of Duo)   
  
Wufei: Then I used this shampoo!   
  
(Holds up a bottle of shampoo from Duo's salon)   
  
Wufei: Now look at me!   
  
(Points to his hair)   
  
Wufei: Use my shampoo! Gundam 05 Shampoo.   
  
Nataku: . . . .   
  
Wufei: That's right. They'll have beautiful hair just like you. Wait a minute. You don't have hair!   
  
Nataku: . . . .   
  
Wufei: I'm so sorry. I shall never undermine you Nataku.   
  
(Hangs his head in shame)   
  
(Sally Po enters and walks up to Wufei)   
  
Sally: Wufei! Duo's shampoo didn't do that. You did that to yourself.   
  
Wufei: You're right. I'm doing a commercial for weak people about shampoo. I am so weak.   
  
(Hangs his head in shame again and walks away)   



End file.
